


SBI slaughters like 40 people

by Atalante241



Series: One Shots of Ideas [9]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Dimension Travel, Gen, Minecraft, Murder, No Beta We Die Like Henry, One Shot, almost forgot those, and maybe Phil too?, but FUN :D, but irl kinda, cursing, dragged off a cliff and choked and body slammed to death, duh - Freeform, i got no attachment to this trash, idk honestly, its up to interpretation, someone can expand on this if they want, they get transported to real life and r confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atalante241/pseuds/Atalante241
Summary: Tommy, Phil, Techno and Wilbur get punted into real life. They are confused.Also, they get the cops called on them and probably end up in some history books as infamous serial killers or something.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: One Shots of Ideas [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1552750
Comments: 23
Kudos: 291
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	SBI slaughters like 40 people

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this trash.

If one were to listen carefully they would hear the distant rumbuling of car motors and the usual hustle of a city, but in the forest near it the sounds were dampened by the evergreen trees and the sounds the inhabitants of said forest let out. 

It was quite peaceful, but that wouldn’t last. No, instead somethi—

“AHG! FUCK!” Came the distant scream of a young blonde, Tommy was lying face down in the dirt and pineneedles of the forest. Groaning in pain all the while. 

Suddenly a shadow appeared on top of the boy, a man was falling on to him. The only reason the boy wasn’t crushed under Technoblade was the man’s impressive reflexes, him catching a hold of a tree bearing the pain of the scraggly tree branch in favor of committing manslaughter. As the man landed another shadow appeared, this time the falling man wasn’t as quick to react. This resulted in the blonde being saved by the pinket again, said man catching the falling brunet in his arm letting out a somewhat pained grunt in the process.

By now Tommy had gotten his bearings and started to stand up, this was made hard by the fact that he had his breath knocked out of him when he landed. Wilbur now on his own two feet, with hair so curly it could be mistaken for a rat's nest, took a hold of the boy’s elbow helping him stay upright.

Then a fourth shadow appeared, this time a blonde man in green and with an impressive pair of dark grey purply-green wings appeared. His landing was a lot more dignified by the fact that he could fly, “Where the hell are we.” We’re the first words out of Philza’s mouth.

“Honestly, I have no fucking clue dude”, Wilbur the hobo in a trenchcoat said.

* * *

The group of four treaded through the forest of pine, ever so often a leafed tree would appear, marking their path. 

At the front was Tommy, running in front of the elders and somehow not falling over the slippery tree roots. The boy definitely didn’t need more bandaids. Hovering behind the boy was Wilbur, the man having adopted a protective streak after the whole button debocale. Honestly no one had any clue on where it had come from, not even the man himself. 

A little more down the muddy trail was Philza, the man letting out small curses at the state of his feet because of the wet and muddy ground. It had obviously rained a little while ago, the sometimes dripping leaves and needles proving it. Almost next to Philza was Technoblade, the man letting out yawns left and right. Clearly not having gotten enough sleep the previous night(s).

“So, what’ve you been up to?” Phil spoke up while nearly raising his knees to his chest. “I’ve been hearing something about bombs?”

“Uhh, yeah...those”, Wilbur drawled out, pointedly trying to not look at Phil while doing so. At his answer Phil let out an inquisitive sound, it having an undertone of “you better tell me or you’re fucking dead”.

Tommy began, “So there was this-this festival-“

“And I wanted to blow it up, because -uh- reasons”, Wilbur continued.

“But he didn’t! Wil couldn’t find the button”, Tommy eagerly pointed out while walking backwards.

“But I DID end up finding it, very late though”, Wilbur told.

“But he didn’t blow it up! And it’s all thanks to me, Big Q was also there but that isn’t important”, Tommy nearly sparkled while at the same time almost falling over because of the ground.

“Yeah, and now it’s plan B. After plan A and plan Jose”, Wilbur smiled.

At Wilbur’s words Phil raised a judgemental brow. “I killed Tubbo”, Techno spoke up, sounding really awkward while doing so. At this Tommy could be heard crumbuling to himself. 

“Wha-why would you kill Tubbo!” Phil let out a bird like squawk.

“Peer pressure.”

Phil stared at Techno with a deapanned expression, clearly trying to figure out what to say. Only to give up and let out a pain filled sigh. 

The quartet continued through the forest holding a light weight conversation all the while, eventually the trees started thinning. The ground turned to stone and slippery moss, giant rocks were situated next to the path. As they walked they realized that it had started to slope upwards.

They climbed the rocky rise -Tommy still in front- soon hearing a flow of water, this made the blonde boy run to the edge of the apparent cliff they had climbed. The other three followed swiftly behind.

What greeted them was a sight they hadn’t seen before. A lake, a beach on the other side of it. From it led a path that looked quite well kept, an odd sight was the metal boxes laid across it. It seemed that people were getting out of the boxes, the metal contraptions moving before one got out. Out in the water was a boat with two people in it, but it looked odd. The top of it was sealed off and it was very thin, both of the people in the boat held one single paddle. The odd thing was that both sides of their paddles had a blade on them, usually a paddle had only one.

Tommy remarked on this, “What’s up with their fucked up boats?”

“I‘m just as confused as you,” Phil answered, “I’ve never seen boats like those.”

“Why are they just-just rowing around?” Techno pointed out, his confusion shockingly clear in his voice.

This made the other three look back at the lake, the duo indeed were just rowing around it. And it seemed like more people were joining them, pulling equally strange looking boats into the water.

“What in the actual hell are they all doing?” Wilbur’s words rang through everyone’s ears, voicing their unspoken thoughts.

The air was silent for a moment, the four of them watching the newer people get in the odd boats. Soon the original duo boat was nearing the cliff the four stood on, “I’m gonna go ask them what the hell they’re doing”, Tommy’s declaration was met with protest but that didn’t stop him. The boy took a running start and jumped off of the cliff, aiming perfectly for the water below him.

The resounding splash was massive.

* * *

  
  


If Technoblade had to describe their current situation in three words they would be: complete shit show. 

Because that’s what it was currently.

After the two boaters had dragged Tommy up from the water, and consequently rowed to the beach -along with every other person at the lake-, they had started questioning him. But that was quickly stopped by the fact that Tommy -again- had lost his breath while hitting the water, so the next ten minutes was spent with ten or so strangers fussing over the teenager.

When everyone calmed down the questions started, one would think that they would ask why he would jump into the lake from so high up. But no, they asked where he had gotten all of his injuries from. And Tommy being Tommy had answered, which in turn horrified the boaters.

During his magnificent explanation Tommy had mentioned Wilbur and Techno and all the things they’ve (him included) done recently, -while leaving out a lot of context- and the fact that he lived with them, which made the boaters more horrified.

So when Technoblade, Wilbur and Phil stumbled out of the woods -having taken a more calm route down- the boaters simultaneously let out a scream. This could be blamed on many things, the few days old blood on Techno, the fact that they were the people Tommy had described and the boaters had concluded that they were immensely bad people. It also could’ve been the wings Phil had, but no one would ever know as the boaters were all very dead or hospitalized.

This was because when ten or so people let out a collective shout, and the people they shout at are trained in combat and are used to people coming back to life. The obvious instinct was to stab n’ slash.

Now during the scuffle where they murdered about ten people one person had their phone on them, so when they had been left to bleed to death by a furiously swinging Wilbur they had made the obvious decision. They called the cops.

So now Technoblade was surrounded by thirty something people dressed in blue uniforms, all of them shouting at him to put down the blade he had in his hand. Not to mention the fact that they were pointing some black handle bar looking things at them, now don’t get Techno wrong. He was all here for the fight but there was the fact of not knowing where his spawn would be, and sure he had his brothers with him. They could take down the thirty people down easily, but the blue clad people had an advantage. And that was Tommy, also the fact that the boaters' bodies had yet to turn to dust that they would respawn with making the ground harder to traverse.

The Tommy bit was because when the blue clad people had arrived Tommy had been sitting on a log, a little ways from the older three. So when the metal boxes pulled up they apprehended Tommy immediately. Not to say the blonde didn't put up a fight, the two unconscious -maybe dead- people proved that.

But still, from his position Techno was able to spot Tommy’s apologetic grin, he could almost hear the embarrassed chuckles the blonde was totally letting out.

“Put down the weapons! This is your final warning, or we will be forced to use lethal force!” The man that seemed to be in charge shouted.

“I’d like to see you try”, Techno said while remarking on his own badassness in his mind.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Wilbur honestly doesn’t know if their current situation was an improvement of their old one. Back home they slept in a ravine (except Phil, he had a proper house in a completely different realm), here they slept in an alley. If he had to rank the two places he would place the ravine on top, it had a roof and their basic necessities. Here? They had nothing except Phil’s exceptional survival skills, and only some of them worked. 

That was proven by Wilbur's bandaged hand, for some reason breaking stone or brick by hand hurt way more than normal. Now that he had thought about it more he decided that their old situation was better.

Wilbur mulled as a few drops of rain and sleet settled a little ways off of his foot. He could feel the warm body of a certain blonde gremlin pressed against his side, they really should add a jacket to Tommy’s wardrobe in case of situations like this.

Wilbur let out a sigh, his breath forming into a cloud he by now was used to seeing. At least it was as cold in the alley as it was in the ravine. They had taken shelter under a little overhang, it barely keeping them dry from the slow falling rain and sleet.

Wilbur let out a breath, the darkness of sleep gaining him shortly. 

His final thought before the darkness consumed him being, _‘Everything is wack here.’_

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I can’t write dialogue 
> 
> Anyone can make things off of this, no need to ask. Just please link it to me somehow because I have nothing better to do with my time other than read McYt fanfics.


End file.
